"A boy is the only thing that God can use to make a man."

I'm a mom to three boys. So I say things like: "Why aren't you wearing any pants?" "Farting isn't as funny as you think it is." And "Who brought the catapult to the dinner table?"

My mudroom's always disgusting, there's never enough food in the pantry to keep them satisfied, and it's not fun unless someone gets hurt.

My kitchen currently has a fishing pole in the corner, a football on the table, and three uneaten vitamins sitting next to candy wrappers.

I would never complain though because raising boys has been the joy of my life. Little boys love their mommas in a way that little girls don't. Just the other day Carter said to me: "Mom please don't leave us alone with dad anymore. He picks us up by our skin."

I have no idea what that is referring to. But I love that he knows I'll keep him safe.

I also found this on my bed.

I'll translate.

"Mom Mom

you are the bomb.

So, so

what is wrong with your toe?

Why I am giving you the little white rose

Is because I like you so much."

I won't bother trying to figure out where he got the little white rose. Sorry neighbors.

It's no where near Mother's Day but Thanksgiving is next week and these three rugrats are at the top of my list of things to be grateful for.

Being someone's Superman

"What I do is based on powers we all have inside us; the ability to endure; the ability to love, to carry on, to make the best of what we have - and you don't have to be a ‘Superman' to do it." ~Christopher Reeve

Jamon lives in his own little fantasy world. And in his world Spiderman, Superman, Batman, and the Hulk really exist. Or at least they should as far as he's concerned. In fact, on more than one occasion he's said to me: "I just don't understand why Superman can't be real."

I've never had a good answer for that until today. And the answer is: He can. YOU can be Superman Jamon.

Today I stopped at Subway on my way out of town (yes, Kuna now has a Subway. We got a Les Schwab and a Walgreens too. It was a big month for our little town). Anyway, the Subway used to be a drive through coffee shop, so the dining room is really small. When I walked in there was only one other customer. Okay, there were three, but two boys were sharing one sandwich and the other boy brought his lunch with him. While the two sharing were waiting for their sandwich to be built, they were teasing the young man who brought his own. Now obviously they were friends so it wasn't like bullying....it was just good old fashioned tease- your -friend type of stuff.

I can see why because his lunch was a dried up hamburger patty, raw broccoli and plain noodles. Of course cold. They were saying things like: "Nice lunch. Did your Mommy make it for you?" and "ooohh delicious! I'm jealous that I'm stuck here eating Subway."

The young man was taking it well and at that moment I decided something. I was planning on ordering a footlong because they're only five bucks, but I wasn't really planning on eating the whole thing. I was hungry enough for about 8 or 9 inches but not 12. So, rather than cut the footlong in half, I had the girl cut me 3/4 and wrap up the other 1/4 separately. As I walked out of the restaurant I set the 1/4 sandwich at the table in front of the boy who brought his own lunch. I simply said: "Have a nice day" and walked out of the restaurant.

Before the door shut I heard one of the boys say: "Who. WAS. that?"

I heard Jamon's voice in my head saying "Who was that masked man?" and smiled to myself.

You see Jamon- you don't have to be able to fly, spin webs, use laser vision, or save the world from enemies to be a hero. That's not what people really want anyway.

They want to be cared for when they're sick, helped when they're in trouble, and they want a friend when they're lonely. There are opportunities to be heroic all around you every day. You just have to watch for them.

Now giving this kid some of my sandwich might not be heroic, but I guarantee I made his day. I bet I made his mother's day too because he was a pretty good lookin' kid and that sandwich had onions on it. Stay away girls! You're welcome mom.

Actual Conversations, Part 1

"Ordinary people can be drop dead funny."

In fact, I'm learning why so many teachers have blogs. Writing about your students and their families is a no- brainer. It's free material right there at your fingertips.

Stuff you couldn't make up if you tried.

Now regular readers of my blog know that my three kids can be pretty dang funny. They have been, up until now, my sole source for writing material. But now I have 180 kids. So, my middle-schoolers have inspired me to come up with this new segment:

"Actual Conversations"

Please enjoy part 1:

I taught a "Life Skills" class with the counselors today. The following is an actual conversation. You are entering part way as we're learning about self-image.

Me: "What kinds of things help make up our self-image?"

Ranger: "How about how many sacs you get on the quarterback?"

Me: "Yes definitely! Our skills and abilities help make up our self-image."

Serena: "Your friends and family?"

Me: "Yes definitely! The quality of our relationships with others help make up our self-esteem."

Ysenia: "Where we come from?"

Me: "Yes definitely! Our background can help make up our self-esteem."

Colton: "You're all crazy! It's girls man! That's it! Just girls...that's what makes up your self-esteem!"

Heaven help us.

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop."

First of all you should know that Jamon is the most grateful person I know. His positive attitude is to be admired. At least three days a week he can be heard saying: "Today was the best day of my whole life!" I love that about him. He's so grateful for every little thing in life and he's so easily pleased.

For example: October came and went and our oldest boys turned 13 and 11. My mom just sent them gift cards this year because they're kind of to the point where it's just easier to let them pick their own stuff. That way no one's disappointed and no money is wasted on something they'll refuse to wear, use, or play with.

So, I took them out shopping one night to spend their birthday money. As is consistent with his personality, Camdon thought through his purchases with much diligence and prudence. He budgeted and made a list of most important needs and wants. He got a fishing pole, some football gloves, new headphones (ones that couldn't accidentally be put in a pocket and washed) and a new jacket.

Then there's sweet Jamon......the one who thinks every little thing in life is the best thing that ever happened to him. He saw these bad boys and thought he'd hit the jackpot! This is what he chose to spend his birthday money on.....

It was the "greatest day of his life" until I invoked my power to veto. I told him he would not be spending his birthday money on a giant tub of fake cheese balls. Someday he'll thank me.

"Just before the death of flowers,
before they are buried in snow,
There comes a festival season

When nature is all aglow."

Jamon and I just love the fall season. He told me the other day that he starts getting excited as soon as October gets here and stays that way through Christmas. Me too! I've had fall decorations up since the end of September. There's such a cozy feeling in the home. And never mind how excited everyone got when they saw I pulled the witch out! (she holds a goodie bag full of Hershey kisses) Who wouldn't be excited about that?

Anyway, one of our favorite fall traditions is to go to Linder Farms. It's owned by a family we go to church with and it's practically in our own backyard. My brother and his wife love it just as much as we do. They came over for conference weekend so we took them along with us.

Justin and Camdon went to the Priesthood session of General Conference so they weren't with us, but Jamon and Carter were thrilled to show my niece a good time.

The llama was thrilled to show my sister-in-law a good time.....

What is it about hot, stinky, fly-infested petting zoo's that makes everyone so happy? Maybe the cute baby animals.

Maybe.

Jamon did end up leaving the tent early because he couldn't take the smell anymore.

He stuck around long enough for me to get a pose....

But doesn't he look like he's about to hurl?

We went through the corn maze and took a hayride out to the pumpkin patch. It was so fun we decided to go back the following weekend. This time with Justin and Camdon. The quality of the pictures is so much better when Justin joins us.

Yep, Camdon got glasses, and yep, we love us some good old fashioned "agritainment." Happy fall y'all!

Devil's Vomit

"A weird and scenic landscape peculiar to itself." ~President Calvin Coolidge

Every time we go to eastern Idaho for a visit, we pass by Craters of the Moon, and I tell myself "someday we'll stop." Well, someday never showed up so we did it Labor Day instead. Ha ha...I know. As we paid our fee and entered the park, Jamon said in wonderment: "Wow! What happened here?"

I never got the chance to answer because Carter, my budding scientist, already knew.

"Duh! Volcanoes happened." Boy was he in his element! I've never seen him sit so still as when we were in the visitors center watching the movie about the history of Craters of the Moon. He hung on every word...lava....magma....caldera of fire.......molten liquid. He couldn't take it any more and we raced out of the visitors center and began our exploration.

A pioneer traveling the Oregon Trail in the 1850s looked at the blackened earth and described the land before him as "Devil's Vomit." This seems an accurate description. Carter led the way as we hiked and explored caves. I think he had the time of his life.

I think we all did.

Being down in the cave was so much fun!

Scary. But fun.

The opening of the cave was nice and wide.

Not true of the exit. In fact, as we were leaving, I said to the boys: "I should've come out first and taken a picture of you guys. No one would believe the tiny hole we just crawled out of." Just then this guy popped his head through. He said I could take his picture to prove where we had just been . Thanks kind sir.

We couldn't have picked a better day to stop.

See Facebook. Isn't this so much better?

“If Facebook were a country, it would now be the 6th most populous in the world.”

It was pointed out to me today that I no longer seem to care about my blog. This is so not true, I've just become a bit of a Facebook junkie. When a friend of mine begged me to join Facebook, I declined telling her if she wants to know what's going on in my life, she need only check my blog. She must've known I have no backbone because she kept nagging and I caved. So, I set up my Facebook account but announced that those checking my page often would be disappointed, because I only care about blogging.

That was then......

Now I seem to be content to write about my life in one or two sentence snippets that the whole world can see. Unless they don't "do Facebook." Like my parents who would never, ever in a million years "get it" let alone use it. Some of the biggest fans of my life are missing out because I've chosen to believe that the status of my life can be summed up in fifty words or less. This simply isn't true. Over Labor Day weekend I posted to Facebook that I was taking the boys to Crater's of the Moon. There are so many details of that day that I want remembered. Shame on me. And to my loyal fans~

Thanks for reminding me why I started blogging in the first place. And maybe by now that Chinese fan will have given up and gone away. He annoys me.