"A boy is the only thing that God can use to make a man."

I'm a mom to three boys. So I say things like: "Why aren't you wearing any pants?" "Farting isn't as funny as you think it is." And "Who brought the catapult to the dinner table?"

My mudroom's always disgusting, there's never enough food in the pantry to keep them satisfied, and it's not fun unless someone gets hurt.

My kitchen currently has a fishing pole in the corner, a football on the table, and three uneaten vitamins sitting next to candy wrappers.

I would never complain though because raising boys has been the joy of my life. Little boys love their mommas in a way that little girls don't. Just the other day Carter said to me: "Mom please don't leave us alone with dad anymore. He picks us up by our skin."

I have no idea what that is referring to. But I love that he knows I'll keep him safe.

I also found this on my bed.

I'll translate.

"Mom Mom

you are the bomb.

So, so

what is wrong with your toe?

Why I am giving you the little white rose

Is because I like you so much."

I won't bother trying to figure out where he got the little white rose. Sorry neighbors.

It's no where near Mother's Day but Thanksgiving is next week and these three rugrats are at the top of my list of things to be grateful for.

Being someone's Superman

"What I do is based on powers we all have inside us; the ability to endure; the ability to love, to carry on, to make the best of what we have - and you don't have to be a ‘Superman' to do it." ~Christopher Reeve

Jamon lives in his own little fantasy world. And in his world Spiderman, Superman, Batman, and the Hulk really exist. Or at least they should as far as he's concerned. In fact, on more than one occasion he's said to me: "I just don't understand why Superman can't be real."

I've never had a good answer for that until today. And the answer is: He can. YOU can be Superman Jamon.

Today I stopped at Subway on my way out of town (yes, Kuna now has a Subway. We got a Les Schwab and a Walgreens too. It was a big month for our little town). Anyway, the Subway used to be a drive through coffee shop, so the dining room is really small. When I walked in there was only one other customer. Okay, there were three, but two boys were sharing one sandwich and the other boy brought his lunch with him. While the two sharing were waiting for their sandwich to be built, they were teasing the young man who brought his own. Now obviously they were friends so it wasn't like bullying....it was just good old fashioned tease- your -friend type of stuff.

I can see why because his lunch was a dried up hamburger patty, raw broccoli and plain noodles. Of course cold. They were saying things like: "Nice lunch. Did your Mommy make it for you?" and "ooohh delicious! I'm jealous that I'm stuck here eating Subway."

The young man was taking it well and at that moment I decided something. I was planning on ordering a footlong because they're only five bucks, but I wasn't really planning on eating the whole thing. I was hungry enough for about 8 or 9 inches but not 12. So, rather than cut the footlong in half, I had the girl cut me 3/4 and wrap up the other 1/4 separately. As I walked out of the restaurant I set the 1/4 sandwich at the table in front of the boy who brought his own lunch. I simply said: "Have a nice day" and walked out of the restaurant.

Before the door shut I heard one of the boys say: "Who. WAS. that?"

I heard Jamon's voice in my head saying "Who was that masked man?" and smiled to myself.

You see Jamon- you don't have to be able to fly, spin webs, use laser vision, or save the world from enemies to be a hero. That's not what people really want anyway.

They want to be cared for when they're sick, helped when they're in trouble, and they want a friend when they're lonely. There are opportunities to be heroic all around you every day. You just have to watch for them.

Now giving this kid some of my sandwich might not be heroic, but I guarantee I made his day. I bet I made his mother's day too because he was a pretty good lookin' kid and that sandwich had onions on it. Stay away girls! You're welcome mom.

Actual Conversations, Part 1

"Ordinary people can be drop dead funny."

In fact, I'm learning why so many teachers have blogs. Writing about your students and their families is a no- brainer. It's free material right there at your fingertips.

Stuff you couldn't make up if you tried.

Now regular readers of my blog know that my three kids can be pretty dang funny. They have been, up until now, my sole source for writing material. But now I have 180 kids. So, my middle-schoolers have inspired me to come up with this new segment:

"Actual Conversations"

Please enjoy part 1:

I taught a "Life Skills" class with the counselors today. The following is an actual conversation. You are entering part way as we're learning about self-image.

Me: "What kinds of things help make up our self-image?"

Ranger: "How about how many sacs you get on the quarterback?"

Me: "Yes definitely! Our skills and abilities help make up our self-image."

Serena: "Your friends and family?"

Me: "Yes definitely! The quality of our relationships with others help make up our self-esteem."

Ysenia: "Where we come from?"

Me: "Yes definitely! Our background can help make up our self-esteem."

Colton: "You're all crazy! It's girls man! That's it! Just girls...that's what makes up your self-esteem!"

Heaven help us.

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop."

First of all you should know that Jamon is the most grateful person I know. His positive attitude is to be admired. At least three days a week he can be heard saying: "Today was the best day of my whole life!" I love that about him. He's so grateful for every little thing in life and he's so easily pleased.

For example: October came and went and our oldest boys turned 13 and 11. My mom just sent them gift cards this year because they're kind of to the point where it's just easier to let them pick their own stuff. That way no one's disappointed and no money is wasted on something they'll refuse to wear, use, or play with.

So, I took them out shopping one night to spend their birthday money. As is consistent with his personality, Camdon thought through his purchases with much diligence and prudence. He budgeted and made a list of most important needs and wants. He got a fishing pole, some football gloves, new headphones (ones that couldn't accidentally be put in a pocket and washed) and a new jacket.

Then there's sweet Jamon......the one who thinks every little thing in life is the best thing that ever happened to him. He saw these bad boys and thought he'd hit the jackpot! This is what he chose to spend his birthday money on.....

It was the "greatest day of his life" until I invoked my power to veto. I told him he would not be spending his birthday money on a giant tub of fake cheese balls. Someday he'll thank me.