She thinks my Laptop's sexy

With three growing boys in the house, my kitchen is always on the verge of being a mess.  I can spend an hour and a half making a great big, delicious meal, spend another half hour cleaning it up, and STILL someone says to me an hour later:"mom, I'm hungry is there something I can eat for a snack?"  Grrr...I mutter as I begin the process all over again.  

Now, on the surface, it's easy to be frustrated by the constant stream of dishes and crumbs.  Never mind the fact that $125 worth of food seems to be gone in two days!  But, I try (the key word here is try) to see the deeper meaning behind the always messy kitchen.  It means that my family was together.  We were talking and laughing.  Yes, some of our funniest conversations take place in the kitchen while eating.  Most importantly, it means their bellies are full.  They are healthy and happy and fed.  This brings me joy.  I have to dig deep to get there sometimes.  But, it does bring me joy!

I have similar feelings about Justin and his constant need to be on his computer.  Those of you who know my husband know that in a 24 hour period, he'll be on that thing for 18 of it.  Now, on the surface, I find this extremely annoying.  He brings it to dinner, he brings it to a game of candy land with Carter, he brings it to movie night,etc. However,  I didn't realize until today that I don't find it as annoying as I thought I did.  

Allow me to explain.  The first day of my Poly Sci class, I sat next to a kid with a laptop.  I didn't sit next to him on purpose.  I just got there too late to be picky where I sat.  The next time I DID  sit next to him on purpose, only because Justin asked if anyone in my class was using a Mac.  So, I sat by him to get  closer look at his computer.  It wasn't, by the way. The third day I sat on the end seat because as a lefty, it is really helpful for me to be on the very end of the row while taking notes.  He sat next to me this time. 

I didn't think this was becoming a pattern, but today, I got there a good ten minutes before class started.  I had the pick of the litter so to speak.  But, I saw this kid and thought to myself, "oh, there's that laptop guy."  Yes, today I sat next to him on purpose and realized that on a very deep level, I love the laptop!

  It is symbolic of our livelihood as a family.  It's our source of income and stability. The things Justin does on that stupid thing provide a wonderful life for us and the boys.  I realized this morning that I sought him out on purpose because it's very soothing to me to have this kid take notes at 90 miles an hour and then switch over to his email or facebook while he waits for the rest of the class to catch up.  In fact, I found myself smiling several times today as I heard the peck peck of the keys and then saw his screen flip over to something entirely unrelated to the Articles of Confederation.  

The laptop is the same as my messy kitchen!  It means we are safe and cared for in these tough economic times (knock on wood).  I will most likely sit by this kid often. It's comforting and entertaining in an otherwise boring class.  Oh, that's another thing that makes me smile.  Someone will ask THE stupidest question and this kid will grunt painfully.  I almost laughed out loud as I heard Justin in my mind saying: "C'mon people!!!  Aren't you living in the U.S.?  Didn't you learn anything in high school??!!  How do you not know what the preamble is!?"

 Hee Hee.. It seems this kid is a mini version of my husband.  I could tell by his grunt what he was thinking.  

The one concern I have is that this kid will get the 

wrong idea and think I'm interested in him. I'm thinking "it's so comforting to constantly be reminded of my husband. " 

He's probably thinking, "wow!  This middle-aged hottie wants me!" Sorry, kid. 

 You're 18 and blond.  I prefer the nearly 40, greying type!  

I'm a Bronco again!

Yep!  I'm going back to school.  Today was my first day of classes.  Some of you might know this, but before we had Carter I applied to graduate school (school counseling), but didn't get accepted.  It was right after 9.11 and the advisor told me that normally they have around 90 applicants to the program and that particular year they had around 350.  Obviously I wasn't one of the ones accepted, which is fine.  I had a baby instead of going to graduate school.  This was definitely a better choice!  We love Carter and he completes our little family.

But, he's turning five in a few weeks and it's time for me to do something.  

So it's back to school I go.  BSU has a graduate program where if you've already earned a degree (which I have) then you can apply for this fast track program to earn a teaching certificate to teach whatever your degree is in.  One little glitch.  I met with an advisor who informed me that I was missing a few 100 level classes.  You see, back when I was at Ricks (now BYU- Idaho) 14 years ago, if you got an "A" in senior government or history, then you could waive the 100 level class and go right to the 200 level.  Well, it turns out that if you want to teach it, you have to take it.  Imagine the nerve! :)

So, anyway, I have to take a few classes before I can apply to this graduate program.  I'm currently enrolled in Political Science...uuuggghh,  and Eastern Civ.  Ryan, help!  

I've been having severe anxiety over this.  

Remember when I said I'd been puking?  I ended up at the Doc because I was so sick.  Turns out my stress and anxiety was the cause (and a little poor diet thrown in as well).  As I was leaving class today, it hit me.  All the emotions surfaced and I had a good cry right there in the mini van.  But it was one of those good cries.  The cleansing cry.  Guys, you probably have no clue, but the women will know what I speak of.  Anyway, as I was sitting there wondering what in the world I was getting myself into, a thought came to mind.  A scripture that asks, "have you enquired of the Lord?"  

I have.  And I know this is what I'm supposed to do.  It'll be hard to juggle it all, but well worth it.  I should be on track to do student teaching as Carter starts first grade.  Great timing if you ask me!  And a teacher's schedule is very conducive to motherhood.  So, I'm pretty excited, and a little scared.  But, mostly proud to be a Bronco again!

Date Night

Date night is NOT what it used to be.  Twelve years ago date night meant dinner AND a movie and staying out late enough so that the sitter had to put the kids to bed.  Not me.  That was the whole treat.  Escaping responsibility for just one night.  

Things are different now.  Now I'm boring.  Or maybe I'm just getting old. Here's what date night looks like now:

 Justin and I went out Saturday night.  That morning I got a sitter and saved up my calories all day.  I was so excited as we haven't been out for a while.  Usually our date nights are ward temple night.  Don't get me wrong. That's a great thing to do!  But, I rarely get to go out to eat.  Justin goes out every day for lunch and I think he takes it for granted.  It's not a big deal to him, but to me, getting to go out to dinner is still a real treat.  Anyway, while we were waiting for a table, we talked about seeing a movie and he even looked up the show times.  Just like old times....dinner and a movie.  

Here's the sad part....well, it isn't sad.  That's my point about me getting boring.  Wanna know what we did after dinner?  We went to Walmart!  I know.  I know.  But,  I loved it!  We don't ever shop together.  It was fun and it served a purpose.  We needed a few things. But, we mostly just wandered and talked.  

We did go rent a movie after Walmart....but didn't even get around to watching it until last night.  

So, my point is this.  Going "out" is not what it used to be.  Rather than stay out all night and avoid the responsibilities of being a parent, now I love getting home in time to do it myself.  You know that saying:  "Because just being together is enough.."?  It's so true.  I don't care if I'm at a movie or at Walmart.  I just want to be with the people I love.   So, call me old...or call me boring.  Or maybe call me lucky.  

As per request.....I'll do my part to avoid a blogger wasteland.

 I'm sitting here this morning fighting off the urge to puke.  Yes. Puke.  No. I'm not pregnant, but something is definitely not right.  Perhaps too much crap this holiday season?  

I'm also watching Carter play Mario on the Wii.  It brings back memories of a wasted youth.  My extra curricular was mostly non-existant.   I went home after school and played Mario and Zelda at Jen's. Sure, my boys think I'm the master, but it's just a horrible reminder that I really shouldn't be that good at a video game.  

Camdon's basketball season starts this evening...practice, practice, practice!  

The boys are filming a movie and it's the funniest thing ever!  FINALLY something all three of them can have fun with together.  They're taking it pretty seriously....costumes, parts, etc.  I served as the make-up artist last night.  They shot a bar fight scence and I had to make Jamon look a little roughed up.  Too funny....they worked all evening and only got a few minutes of actual footage.  This is going to be a great project!!!!  

I'm back.   I just threw up and feel so much better....shouldn't have been trying not to all morning.  

I'm outta here....

Camdon's first attempt at boarding

Justin took Camdon to the mountain yesterday to snowboard for the first time.  It went.....well.  No.  It went... okay.  No. It went.