Boy parts/Girl parts

I was so careful not to mention any details in my last post because I know that at least one, and sometimes two, of my boys regularly read this blog.  So I left out graphic words like "uterus" and "cervix".  I chose not to talk about IUD's falling out and getting lodged where they  don't belong causing severe amounts of pain, cramping, and blood loss.  All of this resulted in a new package of pills that mysteriously showed up in the medicine cabinet.  

"Mom, what's that little white pill you take every morning?"

"Never mind son. They're mommy's "vitamins". 

 I'm sure they're  thinking...."Some 'vitamins'.  They make you crabby, tired, and nauseous.  And why are you laying on the couch immovable while dad makes waffles for Sunday dinner?"  

Yes, I was so sure I was shielding my innocent boys from any information they'd be uncomfortable knowing.   There's plenty of time to learn about the birds and the bees, right?  After all, they're only 11 and 9, right?  Wrong.  

Guess what my 11 yr old son came home from school with yesterday?  A permission slip for him to attend a "Growth and Development" lesson taught by the school nurse.  There were a list of intended outcomes, but in short, the point is to make sure that the girls know what is soon going to happen to them and the boys know to refrain from mentioning/teasing/or otherwise drawing attention to any part of it.  Oh, and they'll also be taught the importance of showering every day due to these unfortunate events in there newly,  puberty-stricken lives.  

Anyway, upon getting this letter, I immediately got on the horn to all the other mothers of fifth graders.  "What do you think?"  "Should we let them attend?"  'Is this something we want to go over with them ourselves or trust the nurses?"

After all, I don't want my kid to be the only one of his peers attending.  Or worse yet, the only one NOT  attending. I asked him if he wanted to go.  You can guess his response.  He was adamantly against it.  I can understand that these "lessons" are embarrassing and uncomfortable, but still a part of life.  HHMMM.  What to do?  

Any thoughts?

Our weekend in numbers

2. The number of times one of us needed to seek emergency medical treatment.

3. The number of us who are sick.

18. The number of Easter eggs we colored.

0. The number we hunted for.

5. The number of items on the Easter dinner menu.

4. The number that DIDN'T turn out.

3. The number of windows we opened to clear out the smoke coming from the oven.

1. The number of dinner items that didn't get prepared at all.  

50. The amount of dollars spent at Walgreen's yesterday buying Motrin, Benadryl, cough syrup, and Claritin D. Yes, the medicine cupboard ran empty on the worst possible day. 

3. The number of puke piles out in my garage that I'm too tired to clean up. 

12.The number of hours I want to nap for.

Happy Easter

Spring Break McCall style

Even after a huge meal, inevitably, one of the three will come to me an hour later and say: "Mom, I'm hungry.  Is there something I can eat?"  GRRR...I know I've complained about this before, but this weekend I found a worthy opponent.  The boys met their match with these portions! 

Check out this place in McCall.  It's called the Pancake House and there was actually food left over when we were done and no one asked to eat an hour later!!!  Yay!  The owners must've raised a lot of boys.    

We ate a lot and swam a lot, which is my hair looks like this.......

When you're the only girl in the house you get no patience from the four that jump out of the pool, dry off, and are ready to move on to the next adventure.  I've learned to be as quick as I can, but sometimes the results are undesirable.  Oh well. We had a great time.  The condo was nestled right in the woods. It was fun to leave the distractions of the world and spend a few days just the five of us!  

Advice from a boy

Here's an old country proverb that couldn't be more true (thanks John Jemmitt)...

"If you have one boy, you have one boy. If you have two boys, you have half a boy. If you have three boys, you have no boy at all."

Allow me to illustrate.  My friend Jen is growing thru a sad/rough time.  I was recently chatting with her online and along came my five year old.  My boys know her as "crazy aunt Jen" and Carter wanted to say hi.  I said, "not now Carter.  Jen is sad.  Let me talk to her."  

Without missing a beat he said to me, "I know how to cheer her up!  Tell her 'farting cowboys'. The amount of laughter that ensued was ridiculous.  All three of my boys practically peed their pants!  

I doubt Jen felt any better.