Tattle Tale

 Background information helpful in understanding the story I'm about to tell:

Saturdays can get pretty nuts for me.  Especially the first of the month.  And Saturday was one of those days.  I had two new-hire orientations to do at work, then I came home and started the huge list of chores that needs doing on the weekend.  Then I went grocery shopping.  Winco on a Saturday is enough to make you want to kill yourself.  But, nobody beats their prices, so whatever.  Then I started preparing sharing time (I know, I know, this shouldn't be done Saturday.  But, when then?)  After that I jumped into the shower to get ready to go to the stake baptisms (the pres was out of town and as vice pres....it had been delegated to me).  When I got home my family informed me they weren't interested in the crock pot full of chicken tortilla soup I had started somewhere along the way.  

So, fine!  I put Justin in charge of dinner and I left to go to town for the third time that day to return Camdon's church shoes that were too small that he needed for the next day that I had forgotten about when I was there the first two times.  Justin's solution was frozen beef and bean burritos.  Fine, whatever.  I'll eat the soup. 

It's helpful to note that I took my sweet time in town, because I was tired and annoyed and needed to wander up and down the isles of Shopko by myself.  I also went into the bookstore to wander around and unwind.  I didn't return home until late and the children were in bed.

It's also helpful to keep in mind that Justin no longer gets up early to go to Sunday morning meetings (yay!).  

The actual point of the story

Okay here we go.  Sunday we were sitting in church and Carter was being especially difficult.  I have a certain look I give Justin and he knows that's his cue to take Carter somewhere private and "remind him we need to be reverent", otherwise known as a beating.  Ha Ha..I'm just kidding.  I don't know what goes on out there, but he always comes back into the meeting with his head hung low and his tail between his legs.  

So, I give Justin the look and he takes Carter out.  I kid you not, THE SECOND Justin walked out the door, Jamon turned to me in his most excited, "I've been waiting since 6:30 last night to get you alone to tell you this" voice he says, "Mom, dad swore last night at dinner! He said the "D" word!"  This wasn't whispered by the way.  Remember, he had been waiting a long time to report this little nugget of information.  He was asleep when I got home and Justin was home with us all morning.  So, here it was 11:45 the next afternoon and he finally saw his chance to squeal on his old man!  

Upon hearing this news I immediately left the chapel.  Now, I'm sure Jamon was satisfied in thinking I had left to go find his father to give him his punishment.  Not true.  I left because I was going to bust out laughing so hard it would have surely caused a scene.  I found Justin out in the foyer talking to a buddy and I inquired of this horrible accusation that had been brought against him.  He could neither confirm nor deny that he had said the "D" word.  The fact that he wasn't sure if he had sworn or not tells me that his descent into profanity occurred long before last night over frozen burritos.  

(He claims he swears a lot while in traffic and now that I am commuting down to BSU five days a week, I can see how this could be true. )

Anyway, thank goodness for families to keep us in line and hold us accountable for the things we do wrong!  I only heard my dad swear once the whole time I was growing up....it just so happened to be the "D" word as well.  Jamon, if it's the worst thing your dad ever does, you'll be doing okay!